» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop
» The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa
» He had delusions of adequacy.
- Walter Kerr
» He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Winston Churchill
» No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
» I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
» I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx
» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge
» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
» Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
» Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
» I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
- Mark Twain
» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
» You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
» He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
» Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.
- Moses Hadas
An exchange between John Wilkes and the Earl of Sandwich (both English Parliamentarians of the 18th century):
–The Earl: “Egad, sir, I do not know whether you will die at the gallows or of the pox.”
–Wilkes: “That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your women.”
